Does the essay follow the task? How do you know this? [Look at the assignment itself and the guidelines

given.

The essay does follow the task. So far Brandon has written his introduction and I think he knows his

topic well and has a strong thesis.

STRUCTURE

Locate the thesis–and say it in your own words to be sure you understood it.

Now find the topic sentences. Does each topic sentence sum up or introduce its paragraph effectively?

The thesis of this writing is in the last sentence of the first paragraph. It wasn’t that clear to locate it at

first as I got confused with the last sentence of the second paragraph.

SUPPORT & ANALYSIS Is evidence being used for all statements made? Does the author introduce, analyze, and explain the evidence? What’s the strongest piece of evidence? Yes, the sentence borrowed from the source has been quoted correctly. And it is easy for me to spot them too. He explained the evidence from the sources to support his points. I think he analyzed his topic well.

ORGANIZATION

Does the paper read smoothly? Are there parts that seem out of place or confusing? (Mark these. Give

suggestions if possible.) Add any transitions that would make the organization smoother.

Yes, the paper transitioned smoothly between all the paragraphs. I also think this is a very interesting

topic to write a research paper about.

CLARITY

Write what you consider:

1. the clearest sentence

I don’t really have a specific sentence in mind. I think the introductory paragraph was the

clearest so far.

2. the most confusing sentence

I didn’t really find anything confusing 😊

PROOFREADING

Note here any suggested changes in wording, grammar, punctuation, or spelling:

There are no grammatical errors, each sentence was clear and easy to comprehend.

OVERALL

What single change would make the most improvement in this essay?

I would probably suggest having subheadings to your essay. I feel the topic that you chose might have a

lot of information. You might have a paragraph later in your paper that talks more about the

advantages/disadvantages and having subheadings can make the paper more interesting and catch the

reader’s attention. But that is my own personal opinion and that’s only because I get overwhelmed

when I see long essays.